…..too damn much sometimes.
I don’t want to accept facts from my past or indeed my present. It breaks my heart and makes all of my demons get excited about what may come next.
Feelings may not be facts, but it’s a damn fact that I feel deeply. Past hurts trigger my “I’m not good enough” demon who languishes in the pleasure of my self-harm. The alcohol, the drugs, the harmful relationships, the endless self berating.
Hurts from my present are the same as those from my past and make me anxious, irritable and sometimes aggressive. My past is my present and vice versa.
I don’t want to accept.
I don’t want to feel.
But what is the alternative?
All answers welcome.
Author Nightcapjournal Member
We Welcome Your Voice! At Nightcapjournal, we believe Recovery is a shared journey and every story matters. Member content is deeply valued, and we’re always looking for thoughtful, honest, and creative blog posts to feature in our weekly newsletter. Whether you're reflecting on recovery, sharing a personal breakthrough, or offering insight into emotional growth, we’d love to consider your writing for publication. Have something to share? Send your blog post or pitch to our Editor through our contact page. We review submissions weekly and will reach out if your piece is selected for publication. Let’s build something beautiful together.
