Staying sober through the holidays can be a big ask even for those not in recovery. People who drink just occasionally consume three times more alcohol than normal over Thanksgiving and Christmas. Needless to say, people in recovery feel the pressure too, but staying sober is totally doable. Here’s some tips for a sober thanksgiving!
Be prepared & realistic
It’s important to understand that discomfort is a part of life. Unfortunately drinking for many of us is how we coped. We will find ourselves triggered but it’s how we react to the triggers that matters. Having sober friends on speed dial is always a good idea, and taking breaks outside for some air can relieve some pressure. It’s also a good idea to have an escape plan when things are getting too uncomfortable. Allowing people to know before hand that you’re sober and may find it difficult is one way of dealing with the issue. If that’s not something you’re comfortable with, then explaining you may have to leave early to feed your cat or pick a friend up is also an option. Getting to a meeting before the gathering can definitely keep you grounded. And don’t forget that Nightcapjournal run marathon meetings all day and night during holiday season to offer support wherever you are.
Bring your own
If you’re heading to a gathering of family and friends, you already know that some of them will be drinking alcohol. It’s best not to assume, even if they know you are sober, that they will have thought to provide non-alcoholic drinks for you. It’s easier to take your own so you feel safe in the knowledge you’re not being left out. Likewise, when it comes to toasts, make sure you have a drink in your hand already. It’s also easier to already have a drink than to have to explain that you’re not drinking.
Finding acceptance
Especially in the first few years, not drinking at holiday time can feel a little like you’re missing out. There is a certain kind of grief about leaving your old life behind, regardless of how chaotic your drinking may have been. We tend to retain the memories of the good parts of our drinking days when surrounded by others who are inebriated. But don’t be fooled. Remember there’s a reason you’re not drinking now and it’s usually never because you had fun and could control your behaviour! Holiday get-togethers are different now and if you want to remain sober, will continue to be. Which leads me to my next point.
Making new traditions
This can be tough if your family already has decades old traditions, but you can still make your own so you have something to look forward to. There’s always the option to get together with other sober friends before or after you family event. It’s also okay to just not go to family events if you feel your sobriety is threatened by alcohol being around or family behaviours. Looking after yourself first is totally acceptable and necessary.
Making changes in any part of your life for the better takes some getting used to. If you’ve lived a long time in chaos due to problem drinking peace, can feel strange at first. You may feel bored and unsure what to do with yourself. However, stick with it. Bit by bit your life will become all you could have wished for and your dedication will pay off. Things like Thanksgiving and Christmas will become a breeze and you will approach them with new eyes and enthusiasm.
Happy Thanksgiving!
